what if we kissed on the broom (and we’re both cats)
They were broom-mates?
Oh my god, they were broom-mates
“in this essay i will explore” memes piss me off because it implies y’all still using first person pronouns when writing academically. childish ass
In this essay, this writer will explore the implications of pretending that one’s own personal view is not part of one’s essay, and the inaccessibility of academia related to established custom of artificial detachment.
In this essay, I will demonstrate that the blanket ban on first-person pronouns in high-school and some university English classes is poorly understood and hastily adopted as a result. I will further illustrate that it is a mere substitute for explaining to inexperienced writers that excessive use of phrases like “I think” or “I believe” is unnecessary and rhetorically weakens academic writing, and that opinions expressed in an essay are already assumed to be those of the author. Finally, I will address strategies for effectively conveying that information to students, who often find it difficult to grasp.
In this essay, passive voice will be used throughout in order to distance the work done from any researchers, or, in reality, kind of imply all experiments were done by magical lab gremlins and the results were simply recorded.
in this essay, enlightenment will descend upon you without the agency of any living being. you will know things, yet know not how you know.
prepare yourself. it begins.
In this essay, I will use the first person pronoun as a bludgeoning weapon
In this essay, you may find the use of second person surprising.
listen every single role in hollywood can be played by a fat girl. every single one. a romantic lead????? can be played by a fat girl!!!!! a popular girl????? can be played by a fat girl!!!!!! the preppy bookworm???? can be played by a fat girl!!!!!!! someone who suffers from mental illness????? can be played by a fat girl!!!!!! because fat girls don’t fit into one single character box and we are dynamic and we are everyone!!!!!!! even people with eating disorders can be played by fat girls and the only reason you think they can’t is because when fat girls have an eating disorder, it’s not called an eating disorder. it’s called a success story.
I know I told this story before but last year I was having complications with a surgery and I just broke down in a public place and I was trying to gather myself, sitting and leaning on a wall when this girl in cowboy boots approached me and sat down and she asked what was wrong and I told her it was medical issues and she said “I understand, I have to have my foot amputated next week” and it shocked me out of crying and I was like “wow that sucks!” And she said “yeah.” And then she just touched my arm so tenderly and told me “I promise you that this problem will have its place, and everything is going to work out.” And the way she said it just made me really believe her. She said. “We’re just gonna have to cowgirl up.” And then she stood up and walked away and I’d call that a genuine encounter with an angel but the truth is there is a lot of goodness right here on earth in humanity and it’s shining and pure.
Okay but “this problem will have its place” is genuinely inspiring
THAT REALLY STRUCK ME because I’ve always hated the tired rhetoric of “this happened for a reason” and this feels like a more genuine, comforting take on that. Not “it happened for a reason,” but “this will find its spot in your life and your future that it fits into in a way that will eventually work out even though it sucks that it happened.” Love that.
girls don’t like boys, girls like the pastoral escapist fantasy of living in a large house with many friends and several pets on a beautiful chunk of land with no financial, political, or medical anxieties. also, bread.
